From the Nobody Cares department, here is a food thing I put together to break from the routine and change things up. Not as drastic as Catastrophic Eggs, though, and easier.
Descriptions and word usages for oatmeal around the world have different meanings. It is common in the formerly United States to avoid the word porridge and simply call cooked oatmeal — well, oatmeal.
A magazine for men’s style and health (I disremember if it was online or in print) suggested oatmeal with protein powder. This powder is intended for workout recovery and such, but putting it in oatmeal is supposed to help give your metabolism a kick start in the morning.
Pick up some “quick” or “instant” oats at the grocery store. It’s not expensive. More expensive is the whey protein powder. You can get it in chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla. You won’t need much so that makes it last longer.
The common oatmeal mix for one bowl is half a cup of it with one cup of water in a bowl. I add half a scoop of the powder (too much may not mix well, so experiment if you’ve a mind to). It cooks in our 1,000-watt microwave in just under two minutes, and it’s amusing to watch the mix grow in the last half minute. Once it looks like a muffin top, cut the power and watch it settle back down.
Stir, add milk if you want it thinned out a bit, and since I used strawberry protein this time, I drizzled some chocolate syrup on top.
This is just my experimentation. I microwave it in a plastic bowl that I don’t mind if it gets “scarred” from the hot stuff, but y’all may want to use a ceramic bowl or even cook it on the stove. (Plastic heats faster.) Feel free to modify and improvise, that’s what I do. You’ll thank me later.
This would be an interesting exercise in logical thinking if readers had not already been signaled that something is amiss. Also, the text used has been circulating in one form or another since at least 2015 (that is the earliest I could find). Take a look and see what is wrong with the text in this picture:
First of all, look at your calendar. It’s on a Monday. Second, Halloween isn’t a floating observance, but is always on the last day of October.
The Julian calendar was in use for a mighty long time, but became increasingly accurate. It was replaced by the Gregorian calendar beginning in 1582. So, there are not 666 years in this calendar system, and the typical “meme” maker does not bother with details involving calculating dates between Julian and Gregorian calendars.
Now, don’t be letting this put a burr under your saddle because I seem to be taking this a mite serious. That caption was clearly a prank, and kind of funny at that. This child wonders how many people believed it without bothering to use their think bones. What we have here is a very small example of how critical thinking applies in many areas of life.
The inspiration for this article is…truly bizarre. Like so many other times, an inspiration arrives followed by other thoughts and even circumstances. It began with a shoe.
I found a pair of sneakers tucked away that I had forgotten. Since my wife and I were doing some walking in nature (here are a few photos), I wore those a few times. They seemed all right, especially with good insoles. Then I got a job that involved lots of walking on a hard floor. My feet hurt after the first day, so I used the sneakers. Some pain the second day, less exertion on the third day but I still had pain. Then one broke.
God’s Timing? Humor? Coincidence?
There have been several instances in my past where I believe God was preserving me. The most notable was around 1978. I was a young driver, and I was on the prod while speeding along a four-lane divided highway. My exit was a right turn, down the ramp, and a stop at the bottom of the hill. When I made the right turn, the car kept turning and I went into the ditch. Later, I learned that the tie rod broke. If it had broken while I was going at a high speed, it may have been the end. I wonder if the Lord had an angel holding on to it until then.
In a more recent car-related instance, I had an arrangement with my mechanic in another town a few miles away. He was going to junk the car for me. While leaving that workplace, something snapped and it steered funny. Okay, I was already a couple of miles closer to his place, so I kept going. I “limped” it along with my four-way flashers going and doing as much driving on the shoulder as possible. When I arrived, the mechanic examined it and said, “It’s a miracle that you got here!”
The shoe thing is less dramatic. I had been on those walks, and had worked in them. When I got home, I pulled into a parking place and started to get out — and stumbled. The guy in the car next to mine said to be careful. I told him I had just come home from work. He said, “See how the universe takes care of you?” What fresh evil is this? If I had been thinking, I might have said, “It’s how the Creator of the universe is taking care of me!”
A spell back, I wrote “Evolution, God, and Humor” about — well, what the title says. Was God playing a prank on me with the timing as well as showing his provision? We’ll never know this side of Heaven.
Little Things Matter
These often-overlooked things can be vital.
There is a proverb that has taken many forms for about a thousand years. Here is a common version:
For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
As we have seen in analyses of fossils and bones of our alleged evolutionary ancestors, feet are very important in determining a critter’s locomotion. (Indeed, our “cousin” chimpanzees are uncomfortable walking upright for more than short distances. They have “hands” on their feet.) Foot, leg, pelvis, back, neck bone, skull work together. A bad shoe causes foot pain, compensation throwing one’s stride out of whack, leg and back pain…you get the idea.
There are other simple things that pull back the reins and holler “Whoa!”:
Clean drinking water is vital. It’s ironic when a place is flooded but people can’t drink that water.
If the BIOS on a PC or laptop is corrupted, the computer is “bricked.”
A horse can canter or gallop a long way in a short time, but can do almost nothing if it is hobbled. We read in James 3:3-4 that a horse is controlled by a bit, and a ship is steered by a comparatively small rudder.
The last prisoners of the Tower of London are ravens. A superstition is that if they fly away, the Crown will fall and so will Britain. So, their wings are clipped (flight feathers trimmed). Looks like Britain has essentially fallen and become pagan, innit?
Someone made a remark about an article on preventing shark attacks: It didn’t mention staying out of the water.
“Does this article have a spiritual application, Cowboy Bob?”
The Spiritual Application
In “Pinpoint Accuracy — The Takedown of Christianity in the West” (which this child highly recommends), Calvin Smith added something to my original broken shoe inspiration: ball bearings. Although the procedure was flawed, the idea was excellent: The Allies in World War II bombed plants that made ball bearings. Many German war machines relied on them.
As discussed many times in biblical creation science apologetics, an assault on the most prominent parts of the Christian faith and the Bible is difficult for enemies of the faith. Instead, they chip away at the foundations because most major Christian doctrines begin in Genesis. Why trust the Bible if it is wrong in the very first verse? “Science says” evolution happened and the earth is billions of years old.
They get Christians to doubt the accuracy and especially the authority of the Word of God, and in many ways, they are succeeding. That’s why we have to strengthen and promote the truth of creation.
EDIT: I got some new shoes. They cost more than I wanted to pay, but my foundation is strengthened.
Save this article, as it is of profound significance to millions of people.
Like pastors, biblical creation science authors need a break from heavy theological and science reading — and writing. Right, SlimJim? See why I make Chef Robert Irvine cry with this in-a-hurry concoction.
Most of this is prefabricated stuff from big chain market store things:
Frozen precooked sausage patty
Frozen precooked hash brown patty
Packaged shredded cheese
Salt and pepper
Grab a non-stick skillet. Even though it’s non-stick, I put in olive oil, or butter, or spray it with non-stick spray. Never use a metal spatula in those pans (we really like the ones made from silicon). Put it on medium-high heat.
Zap the pair of patties in the microwave on high heat for 1-1/2 to 2 minutes. I use a small paper plate, but you might want to use a microwave-safe plate.
While that’s going on, crack the eggs, put them in the pan, add cheese, Worcestershire sauce*, salt, pepper (measure each of these carefully with the “that looks about right” method), stir them all together.
Chop up the hash brown and sausage patties into an unrecognizable pile. Artistically scrape them into the frying pan with the other mix. Stir, flip, stir, pick up larger chunks that flipped out of the pan and put them back.
When it seems to be done (especially the eggs), gracefully dump the mix onto a plate. How long did that take, less than ten minutes?
*Hot sauce or red pepper flakes are an option for people who don’t have to avoid spicy foods.